When I started this blog in 2011, I could have never imagined the adventure that we call our lives. The identity of this blog has shifted several times, as my own identity has shifted. I started this blog during my first pregnancy, as a new wife, a budding teacher, and as a person discerning a call on the life of our new family.
Now, I call my self a Wife, a Mom, a Teacher, a Missionary (of sorts), a Pastor’s wife, an Army wife, a Daughter, Sister, and Friend. Navigating these identities (and various others) is the story of my life, but I became aware of it for the first time in 2010. In 2010, I took a course in Elementary Foreign Language instruction, and our professor introduced us to the concept of duality. She used this book, which I highly recommend. She wanted us to help language learners wade the waters of having to choose one identity or the other. She wanted us to help them realize that they are and can be both. In the case of that class, it means that learning English does not make the student no longer a Spanish speaker, or vice versa, it instead makes them bilingual. They are both. Kids struggle with this identity more than we can imagine. This was the beginning.
What I worked so hard to help my students understand became suddenly became something I desperately needed to understand myself. Sometimes being a teacher makes me feel like I can’t be the best mom. Sometimes being a mom makes me feel like I have to give up on being a wife. Sometimes being married to a pastor makes me feel like I’m not a normal human at all. How can I be all of these things? Am I even? Why do all of my identities sometimes fight each other?
In the Spring of 2015, my principal and I started working on bringing an AP Spanish Literature & Culture course to our department for the 15-16 school year, and we were successful. One of the AP Themes for the students to investigate in the course is “La dualidad del ser” –The Duality of Being. I led my students through this process, and our minds were constantly being expanded together. It has become one of the themes of my life. In writing, it converges here.
I have struggled with wanting to write a post and desperately wanting to post it here but feeling as if this is not the place where that part of my life belongs. I was wrong. I am many things, and who I am belongs here.